I don't know if I'm ever happy, tbh. I live in my head and for as log as I can remember, even when things have been objectively great, it's hard for me to be in the moment and just let things be good. I can notice things about my life that are so f---ing cool, but when I'm in the middle of it I usually just feel like I'm outside the moment, watching everything, detached. I'm almost always just detached.
This summer I'm moving halfway across the country for a good job, doing something I don't believe in (contributing to the growth of the military industrial complex). I'm moving to a much cooler place, but leaving all my friends and most of my family. Everyone else says "congratulations!" and I don't feel that way.
I'm optimistic though. Someday, I'm gonna pull myself together and get this life s--- figured out. It's a work in progress.
